In the Great and Endless

Within myself I’ve always found that upon hearing someone or something that was inspiring, moving or great was motivating.
It made me look at what I was doing in and around my own life.
Was I doing anything inspiring, moving or even great?
But in the past, when the reality of my flight was anything but great – but it was endless it seemed nevertheless at times.
All those times looking for something to take away the pain or even to make that moment that much better seem to be endless.
Okay – not all the stuff I went through was great, inspiring.
But it did get me moving.
But that’s just it.
It doesn’t have to be.
It’s the things that happens to us as a people, as a whole, that makes us shift in our attended course in our lives.
All those things.
It made me who I am or who we are.
So ya, in a sense, they were moving, inspiring or even dare I say – great moments. Knowing that I’m not the only one going through things in life and that I’m not alone.
That I will always have something greater than me to lean on in life is truly a miracle.
That in itself is inspiring.
When I finally turned it over – meaning my will.
It was moving.
Looking back now it seems that my journey was endless.
Always looking for something is what moved me.
Endless days hanging out with people that were doing the same thing in and around my life.
Looking back now seeing the time wasted on endless searches that turned up empty every time.
Like that archaeologists looking for those signs of life gone by.
Endless times of telling myself that, “It’s going to be different this time.”
Was probably the biggest lie I would tell myself.
Endless dreaming that life would hand me a favor or endlessly thinking that life’s not fair.
Oh, and add in that I wasn’t doing a bloody thing to change any of it, in and around my life.
Always sitting on the sidelines having my opinion but not looking at the solution. Endless, endless, endless.
So here it is – many years removed from that person where finding hope were I was hopeless.
Turning my will over to a God of my understanding and finding peace with that past that moved me.
Has been just one of those moments that are great.
To these inspiring times of seeing a host of friends doing the same things, is beautiful.
Even the little things like watering the lawn can be inspiring.
Considering that that same lawn was the one I used to pass out on then come to after being out all night.
Coming to in the morning and watching people heading off to their causes, their moments.
The great an endless journey is there for all of us.
But be warned.
Once started, once you’ve opened up that gate and take that first step – nothing is the same.
Our eyes are open.
The way we think of ourselves has changed.
The way we look at folks around us becomes more real as we take more steps down a new path before us.
Before I turned my will over, way before I used chemicals as a way of life.
I dreamed of great things.
Those childish dreams – those endless wants, seems like a lifetime ago.
In a sense, it was someone else’s life.
I’ve heard, “Don’t forget where you came from.”
I’ve also heard, “The old you and the new you can’t be on the same journey.”
So I’ve come to look at it as that caterpillar.
Where one journey ends.
This new and wonderful life has emerged.
For all those new dreams we dream.
When we stopped and get inspired by people.
Moved by greatness.
We stopped and looked at ourselves and see hope that the road we are on is now full of new life.
New beginnings.
Within and without what we need or our wants.
Here, In the Great and Endless…